My Autobiography

Chapter 1 - Street Life

i was born in 2002 and lived my life on the streets as a young male cat in a good neighbourhood in rishon le-zion. During my early days i used to climb trees and jump from one car to another at the parking lots of each building wandering out and about. My tail was always covered with fuel from cars and I was filthy, but very attractive. Being the only long haired cat in the neighbourhood many other cats were jealous of me, which resulted in some ugly cat fights every now and then.

During my early years i was hanging out with a female cat called Yonit and another female cat called Fionna, who as i heard, still lives in the kindergarten next to my building. Yonit has disappeared during 2002. No one knows who my real parents were, but some say i am the son of a strong ginger cat named yooda'lleh who used to terrorize the whole neighbourhood and shag every female cat around. Yooda’lleh’ is probably the father of all cats born between 2000-2003. Yooda’lleh’s worse enemy was a black and white cat called Adolf.

When i was a few months old I joined the David’s family cat feeding station at building number 36 in my street. They loved me most so I got to eat inside their car and be the first to get juicy chunks of chicken. Sometimes when I was wandering too far away they used to come and search for me all over the neighbourhood and get me back to eat. Soon enough I was getting stronger and bigger.


Chapter 2 - My Abduction And My New Home
One day, in May 2003, I was invited to get inside the car to eat and I was served a whole fancy feast can, placed in a weird plastic cave. I got in and the next thing I know I was locked. This was the day of my abduction.
I was taken to the clinic where I met Tina and Guy who everybody says are such great doctors and loving and stuff, but I hate them. I was hospitalized for 3 days during which they gave me shots, cut out my balls, cleaned my ears and gave me antibiotics since I had a terrible infection both in my eyes and in my urine system. Guy said I lost some teeth because of a gum infection. He also said I have a funny flattened nose. This is why I scratched his hand really deep the next time I saw him.
Then I was taken back, not to the street, but to the David’s family house. I discovered later it was their plan all along. To captive me, hill me and bring me to their home. Too bad the mother of the house didn’t realize it the first few days...
At first she wanted me out. She said it was she or “the cat”, so her family told her- the cat. Eventually, we both stayed there and today she loves me better than everyone else.

Chapter Three - The Good Life


Now, 5 years later, I’m pretty much the most spoiled cat you can ever imagine. I live in a 5-bedroom house, and the people living in it are my slaves. They pet me whenever I ask, they cook for me all the time and they come right away when I call them. Sometimes they tell me I’m too fat and try to make me work out, but it doesn’t seem to make them stop feeding me chickens and salmon slices, tuna fish and fancy feast cans, so I don’t mind.


A year ago, i was taken back to the clinic to have a plastic surgery in my eye – it was nasty and cruel and I had this collar on my neck for weeks- but I do admit that I no longer have as much eye infections as I did, and I look even more gorgeous now – as if anyone believed it was possible...